Making a splash!

Here's to family and friends kicking off the summer in spectacular fashion.  It's nothing quite like food, music, margaritas and a whole lot o f silly to make for a celebration.

Go ahead, take a peak:

No apology -No regrets!

You don't remember what?  I recently had the pleasure of chatting it up with an 85-year-old lady.  How the time passes was the initiator of the conversation.  She went on to state that she has no idea the number of times that she's been married.  My first husband, another lady that he subsequently married, and I, all attended the same church, she stated.  At his funeral, the lady said to me,  "I want to apologize to you for taking your husband."  I told her, "You don't owe me an apology, you didn't take him away for me - he just did what he wanted to do."  And, I remember my last husband, she stated.  She went on to say, "But that was me, I just got tired of his ass." Finally, she stated, " I don't even remember the others.''  I asked if she had any regrets - she said, " I wouldn't change a thing".  For me, this was profound.  I'm thinking she could educate us all. 

If I'm so lucky as to have my past beckon me at 85, no matter how the pendulum swings, I hope that I, too, can utter No Regrets!

Coming Full Circle

There are countless numbers of definitions of a father.  And, on this Father's Day, It caused me to take pause to consider my definition.  For me, like so many others, my life doesn't fit into the traditional family roles.  My grandparents (paternal) adopted me from the age of six months.  I've always known my biological father.  He lived in Chicago and my grandparents raised me in Mississippi. Oh, there are the all-varying reasons why I landed in the loving hands of my grandparents.  Funny thing, it didn't even seriously dawn on me until my twenties that I didn't grow up with either biological parent.  I don't know the reason it began to trouble me in my twenties.  Perhaps, it was becoming a parent myself.  But time is indeed the great healer.  Today on this Father's Day, I've come full circle. This year, my father and stepmother came to visit me for the first time.  I spent the night at my father's house in Mississippi for the very first time this year.  Two small things that I wasn't confident would have ever happened.  It was truly one of my life's highlight to have my father and stepmother visit my home.  And, it was equally delightful to witness the sheer emotion on my father's face to have my husband and me sleep over at his home. My father and I have forged a new beginning and I hope for many years to grow in this father/daughter relationship.

There is nothing that I would change about my wonderful childhood.  I have fond memories of my paternal grandfather during my early years; until the boys came along.  Afterwards, let's just say he ruled with an iron clad fist.  Oh, but there was a savior not too far in the distance, Uncle Lavern.  Uncle Lavern was like a big brother and father all rolled into one.  Reminiscing of years past, I had an Ah Ha moment.  I realized that an enormous part of my life would be rendered void had it not been for Uncle Lavern. 

What I know for sure is that when you are kid, you don't know that difference between an uncle, brother or father.  You just want someone to love you.  And on this Father's Day, I'm happy that I had Uncle Lavern to love me. 

I hope that you have taken the time to wish Happy Father's Day to all the men in your life.

Vacancy

 "my job sucks, my health sucks, my dogs suck, my house sucks, my everything sucks"

Oh yes! Debbie Downer is a name of a fictional Saturday Night Live character which debuted in 2004. The character's name is a slang phrase which refers to someone who frequently adds bad news and negative feelings to a gathering, thus bringing down the mood of everyone around them.

I venture to say that we all have one in our circle of friends. Friends who literally suck the life out of you; often time slowly, but nevertheless rendering you breathless.  It's exhausting as a friend and life is too short for toxic people. I have discovered that the older I get, the less patience I have for these energy drainers.  Many experts suggest that an occasional inventory be taken to access friendship to determine whether the friendship is adding more worth; oppose to discomfort.  Personally, I prefer to make life changes at New Years.  It's something about the onset of the New Year that inspires change.  It is my belief that too much of the Debbie Downer can actually be a health hazard.  At the very least, it doesn't add to life's sizzle.  And frankly my dear, I'm mostly about the sizzle at this point in my life.  Come New Year's 2013, there may be a vacancy. 

Take a little time and access your friendships, it just may save YOUR life.