Bella Vita: March 2012

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Catch A Fire!

This past weekend I participated in my sorority's Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc. Regional Conference in Houston, TX. In the midst of a sea of pink and green were beautiful dedicated women who work tirelessly to service all mankind. Globally, my very own chapter made hundreds of dresses for girls in Africa as a part of our global poverty initiative. In what was appropriately title, 'Little Dresses 4 Africa' begin at the chapter level but quickly caught the attention and enthusiasm of many others (schools, churches, Girl Scouts, other organizations, etc.). The dresses were made out of pillow cases and will undoubtedly be the only dress for many little girls in Africa. This initiative caught fire and skyrocketed to include underpants and little purses. The limitless goals that can be conquered if we rally together to promote positive change. Locally, it reminded me of the Trayvon Martin (17 year old who was shot by a self appointed neighborhood security guard) case. Had it not been for the world's demand for justice, the case most likely would have never been investigated. President Obama stated that if he had a son he would look like Trayvon. Regardless the resolution, this case demanded an investigation. We should all be reminded that if we stand together some of the world's most pressing injustices can be extinguished. Amazing things have and can happen when we 'Catch A Fire'! Start one today.

Little Dress 4 Africa display at Regional Conference:

Sorority sisters at Regional Conference:

A close friend asked that I include this in this posting:

…But for the Grace of God…

Whether we want to admit it or not, Trayvon Martin could have been my son or your son. His killing is a painful reminder that life, as an African American male, is still seen as a stereotype and profiled as a threat to this society. This has lead to a beautiful, innocent child being murdered. This case has captured the attention of so many people mainly because of the injustice of it all, but also because Black media drove this story and forced mainstream media to also report on it. It has galvanized African Americans to pull together and demand justice like I have never witnessed before. While it is important to continue to rally and demand justice for the killing of Trayvon, let’s also remember to pray for his family and friends as they go through the grieving process. My heart bleeds for this family. Yet, I am painfully reminded that…but for the grace of God…

R. Golden

Link to Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc. on Facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Alpha-Xi-Omega-Chapter-of-Alpha-Kappa-Alpha-Sorority-Inc/159929277371270

Link to Little Dresses for Africa:
http://www.littledressesforafrica.org/blog/

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Fierce, Fabulous, and ...

I am certain that confidence, allied with intelligence, is the most superb sex appeal. Fierce, Fabulous, and Fifty, I recently received an invitation from a friend who is ecstatic about celebrating her upcoming milestone. The invitation read, Fierce, Fabulous and Fifty. My first thought was 'Wow', a girl after my own heart. My second thought was, now, I'm going to have to come up with a different catchy phrase in a couple of years. I am a fan of women who are happy in their own skin, loving themselves for who they wonderfully are. I recently celebrated this milestone with another friend. She does not disappoint - ferociously sexy up fifty. I presented her with a bottle of the most delicious sweet red wines I've tasted and a hoola-hoop. It is my opinion that a bottle of terrific wine and a hoola-hoop will either keep you sexy or bring your sexy back. A combination of the adult wine and the kid in you is guaranteed to stir up youthfulness. No matter your age, celebrate your magnificance daily by honoring your true beautiful self. Baby, I was Born This Way - thanks Lady Gaga.

Fierce, Fabulous and Fifty:

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

I'll Always Love You!

We all know the iconic song Whitney Houston made famous in the movie 'The Body Guard'. It's about loving someone enough to allow them to exit your life; because to do otherwise would cause both of you great pain. The legendary country superstar Dolly Parton wrote this song when it was evident she needed to part ways with her long time business partner. In short, it's wasn't working anymore. I was reminded how we desperately hold on to things and loved ones when we know the expiration date has come and often time past. Fear is the culprit. Many of us have the paralyzing fear of hurting the other person, fear of retaliation, fear of being alone, fear of what others will say, fear of everything - pick one. At the beginning of this year, I was at a crossroad and I stated to my husband that I wouldn't be surprised if I had one friend left by year's end. I didn't have any profound reason for making the statement. But somehow, I knew I would be different this year - not things would be different but I would be different. On the subconscious, I knew I had been a fake; not fully embracing and living my authentic life. I could feel a change coming in my bones. I have certainly been guilty of doing and being what others were more comfortable with. It's a sacrifice I'm no longer willing to make. The cost of losing myself is too great. I have amazing family and friends who I'm honored to have in my life. I would love nothing more than for all of us to remain wonderful assets in each other’s lives forever. However, I fully understand the lyrics to that famous song, I'll Always Love You and I cautiously vow to embrace it; as not to allow fear to destroy or hinder my progress and the progress of the ones I hold dearly. Sometimes, we really are NOT what each other need, but the love shared always remains; no matter the separation.

Saturday, March 10, 2012

Caution to the wind

“20 years from now you will be disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the one’s you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover” ~ Mark Twain

If you've been reading my posts, you know that I'm striving to live an authentic life. Reality check! It's not an easy undertaking. I've discovered that it is a constant pursuit that requires always being present. I once had a discussion with a friend concerning the authenticity of a decision that was being anticipated. The friend insisted that time will reveal. I often thought about that, 'time will reveal'. I don't think that I agree. However, there is some validity. I'm certain that it's not the fearless thing to do - wait on time. However, it certainly will reveal one's tenacity or weakness; and the consequences thereafter. I believe that waiting on time is at a minimal; cowardice. Courageousness boosts your chances to live your best life. It's the difference between ordinary and extraordinary. I've often heard the saying, "My heart don't beat on fear". Disappointingly, it's often just that - a saying; which is why I was enticed by the above quote because too often many of us choose not to be true to ourselves; but rather allow the voices of others drown out our own inner voice. It is our challenge to make our life a masterpiece. 20 years from now, will you be disappointed by the things you didn't do? Why not start building that masterpiece today?

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Who's your daddy?

Crack, cocaine, prescription drugs, sex, food, jealously, envy, religion, fear, what master are you bowing down to? Oh you guilty pleasures, why do you deceive? Release me from your grips of destruction. Free me from this bondage of self-hatred. Is your drug of choice preventing you from liberation? Are you doing the same thing over and over, but expecting a different result? It's time to try something new. What I know for sure is if you don't acknowledge your problems and deal with them head on, your drug will consume you; thus preventing you from living an authentic life. If you are not being true to yourself, a little part of YOU die each day. You'll see your reflection in the mirror one day and not recognize yourself. There are millions of drugs used to self- medicate, hinder, bind us in fear and keep us shackled in mediocrity at best. Prescription drugs, food, sex and religion can be wonderful gifts if used to enlighten and enrich our lives. Conversely, these gifts can be our stumbling blocks if used as a crutch or excuse to not take action in our lives. It's time to stop sabotaging our lives and take steps towards creating our best life. Do you realize that we create our own lives? Yes, we are indeed control of the overwhelming decisions we make in our own lives. There are very few decisions out of our own control. Which means, there are few excuses preventing us from living the lives that we desire. We have the freedom to make our own choices. STOP; ask yourself who is preventing you from living your authentic life. I vow to strive each day to create the life that I desire by making choices to enhance my life and the others around me to affect positive change. Your daddy won't fix what's ailing you. You ARE what you have been waiting on!

** Remember that you are who you are and that is good enough. Everyone is supposed to be different; it's what makes you special. There's no one in the world who is exactly like you and that makes you unique and amazing.

Monday, March 5, 2012

Noose around your neck

Today, I was reminded we as mere mortals are capable of many misdeeds. Consciously or unconsciously, we're sometimes the offenders; and others the recipients. The question is, are we capable of forgiving the offender? Or, how long will that noose of unforgivingness adorn our necks? I've always considered myself a forgiving soul. However, there is a BUT. I have discovered in recent years that I can be relentless in having my say when I believe there has been an injustice. In addition, I have been accused of being brutally honest. I didn't recognize this in my earlier years. Therefore, I've done some self-assessment, and I charge each of you to conduct your own self-assessment. In addition to looking inwardly, I challenged myself to take 'The Narcissistic-Personality-inventory Test', and through my husband's urging I took a glance at my astrological sign. Well, well, well, to my surprise; initially, the results didn't look too pretty (as a disclaimer I'm not 100% sold on either the test or the astrological review). Admittedly, there are some recognizable nuggets of truth in both. What I do know for sure is that I'm a work in progress. Sometimes, I'm an excellent steward of forgiveness and quite often I fall short. But what I do know for sure is "To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love, you will receive untold peace and happiness" - author unknown. Most importantly, the person we are not forgiving is really ourselves. Gheez, that noose can get pretty darn tight. I concur that an exercise in forgiveness is good for our souls and our necks. Forgive someone today, it just may be yourself.

Just for fun:

http://www.oprah.com/relationships/The-Narcissistic-Personality-Inventory-Test

http://www.psychicguild.com/horoscopes_explained.php

Saturday, March 3, 2012

What's on your tombstone

With the recent passing of the 'Voice' Whitney Houston (my favorite artist), it awakened in me a since of my own mortality. With 2012 approaching, a conversation spun with a friend regarding our 'Bucklist Manifesto'. We agreed to give serious thought about our life's goals in the month of January; and make a compilation of at least ten things to accomplish in 2012. Admittedly, I'm still in the process of completing the ten-item manifesto; I have made tremendous progress and anxiously awaiting to experience some desires of my heart. Reflecting over the past couple of years, I smile to myself because in spite of life's rocky roads; I have experience many, many extraordinary moments of joy and happiness. As time waits on no man, I am more encouraged to strive for ultimate jubilation in breathtaking moments shared with love ones. When the curtains have closed, I want my tombstone to read 'I Danced'. One of my favorite songs is 'I Hope You Dance'- I have it framed hanging on my home-office wall. The lyrics are:

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance
I hope you dance

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Livin' might mean takin' chances, but they're worth takin'
Lovin' might be a mistake, but it's worth makin'
Don't let some Hellbent heart leave you bitter
When you come close to sellin' out, reconsider
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance
I hope you dance
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along)
I hope you dance
I hope you dance
(Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder, where those years have gone?)

I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

Dance

**Compilation of a few joyous moments over the past couple of years: